The Silence She Keeps
by The Curse of the Black Pearl
Summary: "Man seeks peace, yet at the same time yearning for war...Those are the two realms belonging solely to man. Thinking of peace whilst spilling blood is something that only humans could do. They're two sides of the same coin...to protect something...another must be sacrificed." —Madara Uchiha


_In the white room with black curtains near the station_  
_Black roof country, no gold pavements, tired starlings_  
_Silver horses ran down moonbeams in your dark eyes_  
_Dawnlight smiles on you leaving, my contentment_

-White Room; **by Cream**

* * *

**10 Years Earlier**

* * *

Anger, that's all Nell feels. A deep, burning anger, coming from the pit of her stomach. She wants to scream, maybe even cry, but she can't. Her focus is on the man in front of her, the man who, in a drunken fit of rage, hit her mother. The ten year old reached her limit. She couldn't take it anymore. Ten years of dealing with her father's addiction and alcoholism. Ten years of seeing him scream and hit her mother. That's all Nell knew; the rage that came whenever her father was drunk or high. But tonight it's different. The first slap sent Nell off the deep end. Her entire body was trembling, her hands curled into fists. Her breathing was labored, and her heart was beating a mile a minute.

Nell could see her mother on the floor, on her knees, with a hand cradling her soon-to-be bruised cheek.

In a matter of seconds, Nell lost what little control she had left, and a scream soon escaped her mouth. From that scream came absolute chaos. It was as if her emotions had manifested in some physical way, in a way she just couldn't explain. Her scream shook the house, which caused the walls and ceiling to shatter. Her scream caused windows and mirrors to explode, and for dishes and cutlery to fly out and shatter. Her scream caused the table in the kitchen to erupt into flames and caused all the chairs to be thrown against the walls. And most importantly, Nell's scream caused her father to fly back, to hit the wall behind him with a sickening thud. He was pinned against the cracked wall, his eyes wide and terrified, any color drained from his face.

Nell kept her eyes on her father. She could feel his fear, his horror. That was all she needed. That was _all_ she needed. For years he terrorized his family, and for once Nell was giving him the punishment he deserved — the _payback_ he deserved. He would experience the gut-wrenching fear that plagued the Thomason family every day.

Raising one arm, Nell pointed at her father, and in that moment, every last bit of anger and fear and _hatred_ she had in her body erupted. It all flowed in her father's direction, leaving destruction in its path. The flaming kitchen table flew towards him, but missed by a few inches. It shattered when it hit the wall, erupting into charred and splintered pieces. Nell's father let out a muffled cry. Shards of glass and dishes flew towards him, cutting him and slicing the cracked wall behind him. The house began to shake violently, the paint disintegrating as it came off the walls. Chunks of the walls and ceiling began to break off, and...

...and...

And everything seemed to stop. Nell felt arms wrap around her, shoving her arm down and keeping it held tightly against her body. She smelled the familiar shampoo of her mother, saw the familiar curly black hair her mother had. And Nell felt confusion bubble inside her. She'd been so caught up in the moment, she determined to end her family's suffering, she'd forgotten her mother was _right there_. And when the young girl felt her mother's arms around her, all the chaos seemed to stop. Abruptly. Whatever had been in the air dropped. The house stopped shaking, and everything became eerily quiet. Well, aside from the heavy breathing and stifled sobs, everything became eerily quiet.

Nell felt her throat close up and the backs of her eyes burn. What had she done? She'd been so overwhelmed by her anger she lost control. The powers..._her_ powers, appeared so suddenly. It all started with a series of headaches, and then it only got worse. Things started happening whenever she was worked up, things that couldn't be explained. Nell's mother chalked it up as rotten luck, that all these little things were coincidental. They weren't. Not after what just happened. None of what Nell did could be easily explained. _Coincidences_ don't nearly destroy a house.

"Nell." Her mother's voice was trembling, hoarse and weak. The voice of a woman on the verge of tears. "What did you do?"

Falling to her knees, Nell melted into her mother's embrace. Her head was spinning, her skin broke out into goosebumps. The anger she felt, the overwhelming hatred she had for her father, still lingered, but it had died down significantly. Instead, the young girl felt extreme confusion and sadness. The flames that consumed the kitchen table were quickly extinguished, and she faintly heard her father fall to the ground with a heavy thud. Nell's surroundings seemed to blur, until she finally felt herself fall unconscious.

-8-

Word spread about what happened. Unfortunately, there was no reasonable explanation that could be given. The Thomason house was destroyed — at least on the inside — and the family was left in a state of desperation. Nell and her brothers went to go live with their maternal grandparents until things could were figured out. It wasn't easy. It was obvious Nell's brothers wanted nothing to do with her, and her grandparents were on edge whenever she was nearby. Even after two weeks, the hesitation and uneasiness remained. It made Nell feel horrible. She wanted nothing more than to have everything go back to the way it was; but she knew, deep down, it never would. She destroyed her parents' home, she nearly killed her father. Her family was scared of her and there was no way to _fix_ it. So she spent most of her days in her room, isolating herself from her brothers and grandparents. Their discomfort was very obvious; very unsettling for Nell herself. But she'd keep her distance, even if every cell in her body screamed to be with them. She'd respect them and stay away.

She could hear faint rattling inside her room, the sounds of whatever wasn't pinned down getting ready to move. Nell let out a trembling breath; she was losing control again. She had to calm down, God only knows what will happen if she doesn't. She couldn't afford to ruin her _grandparents'_ home, it would only confirm how they saw her. She needed to be on her best behavior, so that way she could go back home.

_If you're even allowed to go back home._

Nell's breath hitched. She couldn't think like that. Her parents want her back. They do. She knows it. They wouldn't just..._leave_ her, right? They'd want her and...

...and...what? They could pretend everything was normal? That nothing she did effected them in any way? No. Nell terrified them. She saw it on her mother's face, she saw it on her father's face. Even her brothers, after everything calmed down, the fear in their eyes was very noticeable. Nell owed it to them to be as _normal_ as possible.

"Nell!" Her grandmother's voice came from downstairs, sounding tense. Not entirely uncommon.

"What?" Nell called.

"There's someone here who wants to see you."

A visitor. That could be a good sign. Maybe...maybe her parents were back. Maybe they wanted to talk to her and they could finally figure out what was going on with her. Scrambling off her bed, Nell went downstairs, but it wasn't her parents she saw; it was her grandmother and another older man in a wheelchair. The man studied her closely, not saying a word. Nell's grandmother looked visibly uncomfortable.

Nell's brows furrowed, unsure of what to make of the situation. Slowly walking down the stairs, the young girl stood in front of her grandmother and the man.

"Do you mind if we have a moment alone?" The man looked over at Nell's grandmother, a British accent lacing his words. His words were gentle, yet assertive. Her grandmother nodded before scurrying off.

"Who are you?" Nell asked, hesitation lacing her voice.

"I am Professor Charles Xavier," he stated.

"What do you want?"

"To talk," he said. "To tell you you're not alone. I am just like you, Nell."

"_Like_ me?" Nell pressed.

_"(A mutant)."_

The young girl gasped. Charles' voice wasn't coming from his mouth, it was coming from inside her head, clear and articulate. "How did you do that?" she exclaimed. "What did you do to me?"

With a small smile, Charles shook his head. "I am a telepath," he explained. "To put it simply, I can read minds."

"Am I a telepath?" Nell asked.

"I'm afraid not." Charles studied the young girl curiously.

"Then what am I?"

"A mutant," Charles said. "A powerful one."

Nell looked down. It was...a lot to take in. "What do you want with me then?" she murmured.

"I'm here to offer you an opportunity."

-8-

It didn't take much convincing, that's for sure. Charles' _opportunity_ involved her joining his special school, one for people like them — mutants. The school, according to Charles' explanation, is supposed to combine basic education with basic training. A lot of the mutants had no control over their abilities, and the school gave them a safe space to adapt and learn. Of course, parent permission was a requirement.

Nell's family were more than willing to send her there. At first, it hurt. Her parents didn't even argue, didn't do anything to show they wanted her to stay with them. They handed her over to Charles, and preparations for the trip happened almost immediately. Nell's life in Barbados would be over, at least for the time being. She'd been told she had the option of visiting her family whenever she liked, even more so during school breaks. Nell had no response for that. Given how _enthusiastic_ her family was to give her up, she wasn't sure she wanted to visit them; at least not for a while. But after a month at the school, Nell started to see things differently; while it was still a lot to take in, she felt like she _belonged_. She wasn't entirely scared of herself. Charles assigned her classes, and offered to help her control her powers after school hours. She happily accepted. The only problem was, none of the other instructors had powers similar to hers, so it would require extra work to help her control them.

"I believe you have a form of reality warping," Charles had explained, "but yours is very unique."

"How?" Nell had asked.

"It seems to be a combination of probability manipulation and something else." He paused after he saw the confusion on her face. "Your powers seem to induce bad luck, causing chaos and instability. But there's another factor there, one I can't quite put my hands on. I'll have to do some more research."

"How can I control it?"

"Your powers seem to be linked to your emotions. From what I understand, negative emotions is the trigger."

"I always destroy things when I'm scared or angry."

"We can work on that. As long as you have control over your emotions, you will never lose control." A warm smile had spread on Charles' face, before dimming somewhat. "But you must remember Nell, don't let your powers control you."

-8-

Three years into her stay, and Nell was beginning to understand. Her powers didn't define her, the negativity and rejection of those who didn't accept her definitely did not define her. Nell's family made it clear they wanted no contact with her, and while it still hurt, she had to learn to accept it. The school had plenty of accepting people she could call family. Charles had become something of an unofficial father-figure in her life, helping her take baby steps in the right direction. Her other teacher, Jean Grey, offered her services as well, and became the closest thing Nell had to a surrogate sister. Ororo gave her confidence, Beast gave her a level-head. Kitty gave her an understanding of friendship and Bobby became a surrogate brother to her. It was nice. Nell felt like she was starting over, her life wasn't the mess it had once been. She could breathe!*

It was liberating.

But, at the moment, she had her hands full. Literally. It was another after-school training session with Charles, and her focus was on her current task.

"That's it." Charles looked at Nell, at the look of concentration on her face. "Restrain the dark impulses. See only the beauty."

Nell swallowed thickly. Her eyes were glued to her hands, to the small flame floating between her semi-curled palms. The task itself was simple: keep the flame under control, don't let her fear or anxieties overrule her judgment. Her powers were driven by strong emotions, and once she loses control there's no telling what kind of damage that will ensue. The flame flickered, glowing slightly at the worry that encompassed Nell, the uneasiness that gnawed at her stomach. She could feel the heat against her palms, a slight wince coming across her features. Despite the flame's small size, the heat was growing at an extraordinary rate.

"Nell remember," Charles said, his voice steady and calm, "don't let it control you."

Taking a deep breath, the thirteen-year-old nodded. From the second her powers manifested, Nell struggled with herself. Everything was suddenly overwhelming — every sound, every touch...every little thing. Her emotions took control of her, and everything around her would get destroyed. The fear of suddenly having powers she couldn't understand, the overwhelming sense of panic that filled every fiber of her being, the overall confusion — Nell felt as if her world had imploded. But now, at Charles' school, she felt different. The fear and panic, and confusion still remained, but she was learning to control it. When she controlled her emotions, she controlled her powers. And when she controlled her powers, she could finally feel normal. Or as normal as she could possibly be. So as she looked at the flame, floating between her hand and radiating an immeasurable heat, Nell couldn't help but feel something. And for once, it wasn't completely bad.

* * *

**(A/N):**

***A quick basic physical description of Nell (adult): dark brown eyes, a heart-shaped face and wavy-curly brownish black hair that she sometimes keeps over her shoulders, but also likes to pull it into a ponytail or bun. Brown-beige skin, and a lean figure.***

**Disclaimer: I own nothing in the MCU. All I own are my OCs and subplots.**

**Anytime a character **_"(communicates like this),"_ **they're talking telepathically. As far as I know, that's the weirdest thing you'll see in the story.**

**If you see "-8-," that's a page break.**

**I also have a little bit of information regarding Nell in the bio/profile/whatever section if you're interested in reading it.**

**If you've got constructive criticism, I'd love to hear it. I feel like it'll help me improve as a writer.**

**Also, I'll try and update _at least_ once a week.**

**'til next time.**

**The Curse of the Black Pearl**


End file.
